Target! My Favorite!

Okay, first of all, let me begin by saying that IF I had known that we would be 1) baking cookies for Sesame Street favs and 2)going on a shopping spree at Target..! I would have tried a little harder on Top Chef! I would have grown the food I was making to win! Are you KIDDING ME!? The one question I do have, is how did Cookie Monster know that Carla’s chocolate cookies were dry? I know that you know and we  ALL know, there is a hand up Cookie Monster’s a$$. Did that person get to judge the cookie? I am just wondering if that was in the contract they signed before the QF. Anyhoo, Padma is doing her best mommy informative character, which is a bit disturbing. Elmo tells Richard he wants zucchini in his cookies, and Richard tells us that his daughter’s favorite thing in the world is Elmo so if he screws this up there will be mayhem in the house. Words to remember for later.

Chef’s are seeming laid back in this challenge. I remember when it got to this stage in my season, there is room to cook, enough equipment to go around. It is quite nice. Everyone seems so happy. It was even pleasant to watch! The chefs are a little uneasy about their cookie making skills. Carla is a “caterer” so she makes cookies all of the time. Tiffany goes straight for a shortbread cookie, because as chefs, we all should know how to make shortbread. I like her idea too. Mike, Angelo, and Dale are a little less excited about their ideas and it sounds as if they hope to just not embarrass themselves. Antonia’s chocolate cookie starts off nicely and ends up cow chips. And Richard goes for the ‘ole liquid nitro. Pot shot, Mike wonders if there is a challenge that he will not use nitrogen. Actually, I am wondering the same thing. Stand by!  At the end of the day, the muppets love Dale’s unbaked cookie. To be totally honest, that is the cookie that looked the best. Richard’s whipped cream and zucchini puffs land him at the bottom. When I asked someone at first glance what they thought of those cookies, they made a face and said, “well, they don’t look good…” I was looking for more of a likeness to something else, but I didn’t get it. Pretty funny. That is one of those moments when you try too hard and it turns out, “ice cream cookie with chocolate chips, zucchini and mint.” Gee-ross. Second least favorite in my book…Mike’s almond and dried cherry cookies with rose petal sugar and red hued mess of a cookie. He said when he put them in the oven, “all I can do is pray”. Didn’t even help. $25 thousand! WAY-TO-GO Dale! That is what I call a pay off. From “cookie cheater” to rain maker!

On to the elimination. Target. Now, anyone that hates on this place is no friend of mine. I was there this morning and already twice this week. SO, if I were told that we could shop, decorate, cook and plate everything out of what we found in the store!? I would have known EXACTLY what to do. I know how Target organizes, what they carry, and that it was all free for me?! I am excited right now just imagining what I would do! They are running all around, in the home decorating isles, picking out slow cookers and tables! Have you ever seen the Target lady on SNL? That is the voice I am channeling for excitement right now.  Target Lady Not even joking. Dale tells the world that Tiffany is starting to get on his nerves with her, “Im from Beaumont” story and that she is loud and right on cue, here she comes with a bright pink hat on…whoa. Tiffany explains to us that she is nervous that she hasn’t won anything. The chefs are starting to jockey for position. Okay, let’s get to the food. Antonia plans to do 100 sunny side up eggs. I commend her. Parmesan cream,? Yes please. Weird side salad? No thank you. Soup #1 Curry apple soup with tomato ginger jam, cucumber apple slaw. Egghhh… passing. Soup #2 Ribeye (I can only image the quality), grilled cheese sandwich with spicy tomato soup. Nice, Dale. I am digging your food this season! Way to go! Soup #3 Spicy coconut soup with mushrooms, scallions, and lime. Why in the hell are there so many soups??! Did they all get together and say, it is 3 in the am and the Target ladies want SOUP! I hardly think so. And Mike, when you referred to cooking for “college kids”, well, you aren’t. You are cooking for GROWN ADULTS! I would have been instantly insulted as Target lady. “This is my JOB man, I’m a business major from NYU! class of 1998!” Nice bowl you chose though. Soup #4 Baked Potato Soup. Speechless. I think there was another dish in there…pork tenderloin and Jambalaya made with Tony Chachere and a cucumber salad or something like that. Doesn’t matter anyways- all signs are pointing to the delicious tomato soup with crunchy ironed cheese. I think the judges have made their decision. Let’s head to the stew room.

In the stew, the chefs seem like they all feel pretty safe. I don’t think Angelo though his dish was terrible. And Carla says that she doesn’t feel anything! But when Padma calls the lineup for the bottom, Carla, Angelo and Tiffany, they feel it now! Whoopsie Daisy… you 3 have the least liked dishes of the evening. I have been there before! Now, Carla’s dish was ho-humm. She did not have a lot of time to let the flavors develop because she was running around trying to find things to decorate. This is a cooking competition! Brian Malarkey used to do the dame thing! But, she is not going to go home for this dish. Maybe the judges just had “palate fatigue” from all of the soups. Tiffany’s dish was just not good. I knew the second I saw her dumping Tony’s in there it was not going to be. That is a good seasoning in the south for things like corn on the cob and potatoes. Even maybe to dress up some boiled shrimp. But, not to season Jambalaya with. And the breakdown. WHAT WAS THAT!? Painful!! I was like, “noooooooooooooooooo!!” Don’t ever beg for mercy! And don’t keep saying “I’m from Beaumont, Texas! Now I see what Dale is talking about. She basically sealed Angelo’s fate!  Because, Angelo’s baked potato soup… I really don’t have words. It was not flavorful enough so he added bacon and salt (Mike’s addition). Of course it was going to be too salty. But, you start playing mind games with yourself and this is what happens. I really wanted to see Angelo go all the way. He is a good guy and a great chef. Sad to see him go. When a cheftestant breaks down, the drama is rising. Please, don’t cry chefs.

Well, that just about wraps it up for me. Can’t wait for them to bring back the other chefs next week. Fabio is hilarious. I will be back to blog!!!!

Adios! Cookin’ up another recipe for the blog on my site…stay tuned and BE HUNGRY!

C